Finding someone
by ReturnMeMyInnocence
Summary: HI new author here. Seth Clearwater is always cheerful, but is he really? Will he find the person that he is looking for, or will he fall into despair? Can someone pull him out of the darkness? I love Seth Clearwater, he's adorable, meh. WARNING:English is not my first language, so beware Have fun reading


**Heyo~ I'm ReturnMeMyInnocence, a new (?) author here (not sure if this being my second story makes me new :P) ANYWAY (XD), just to avoid miscommunication and stuff ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, so if I happen to phrase something wrongly or spell something wrongly and it offends you, please do tell me ^^ PS, I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT (I wish -3-) Hahahaha kay 3,2,1 START. **

**(ps, not sure if my page breaker works but if it doesn't, well then :) )**

_Smiling? Laughing? Happiness? What are those? I, Seth Clearwater, am sick of those words. Outside, I may be cheerful, joyful, and happy even. But on the inside, all I really am is a big mess. When I smile, I want to frown. When I laugh, I want to cry. When I stay silent, I really want to scream. When I stand, all I really want is to fall back down. When will someone see me for not the me they see, but the me inside? If I can really find that someone, that would be the happiest day of my life. Me? I'm just plain old Seth who keeps everyone happy. But if everyone is happy, I can't exactly complain. I just wish that someone could save me from this dark hole of despair, unfortunately I don't see it happening anytime soon. I will write more later, so please keep waiting for me, the only one who listens mostly because you have no choice. I wonder if you were actually human, would you still be willing to listen to me? I guess not, no one cares to. It's my patrol soon, so bye._

_Seth._

He laid his book down into the loose wooden floorboard and left, trying to think of happy things before phasing. It wouldn't do him and the pack any good if any of them heard his depressing thoughts. He settled on thinking of the newest song he had heard. And the lyrics started playing in his head. Hearing the howl that signaled Paul's end of the patrol, it was his turn to patrol. "_**Hiya Paul. See anything interesting?" "Nope nothing. This is boring, why can't we ask the younger ones to do it?" "Might wanna ask Sam about that. Speaking of which, I should start my patrol soon." "Have fun pup." "…I resent that." **_ Ever since the new born battle was over, few vampires would enter the area, not including the Cullens since they were now allowed to enter whenever they wanted. He broke into a run, feeling the wind brush past my ear. Being the fastest in the pack, he made it to my destination quickly. He could never understand why others, not including the alpha, were slower than him. Was it because they didn't enjoy running and feeling free? Or was it because they despised their wolf form? They never did truly like being wolves after all. A metallic stench filled his nostrils, blood? Why would there be blood in this area? And this was no normal blood, it was a human's. Vampires? It wasn't the Cullens, that's for sure. They didn't smell anything like this, disgusting sewage water and… an unknown scent. Reaching the area where he smelt the blood, what he saw, was gruesome.

Blood. Bits of flesh, human flesh, in large and tiny chunks strewn about. Bones were piled up in a large pile. In the centre of it all, drenched in blood and chewing, was a vampire. "Oh my, a wolf came to play? I don't exactly like your kind but you would do for a small meal. Don't be worried, I won't use venom. After all, there's no point. Now, don't resist." In a mere few seconds, the vampire appeared in front of him, and it was only with agility that Seth managed to duck the fists of the vampire. Panic filled his mind, and no doubt his pack had already been warned, from the howling that could be heard. _**"SETH! Hold on buddy, we're coming. Just try to avoid him for now. From what we've seen, he's no ordinary vampire. The CUllens have smelt the blood and are on their way as well. KEEP MOVING SETH, HE'S COMING!" "He scares me, I don't know how to deal with him. He's too fa- URGH" **_The vampire had managed to punch him in his solar plexis. _**"SETH!" **_Seth jumped up just in time to dodge a kick at where he was a second ago. Blood was flowing from his wounds, and he could feel it dripping down his fur. The cut he had from the previous hit against the tree was above his right eye and the blood was starting to obstruct his vision. He closed his eyes and continued to duck and tried to attack occasionally, but the vampire wasn't even affected. If anything, he was more affected by Seth's blood. "sWEET! SO SWEET. YOU'RE DEFINITELY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST! MOST DELICIOUS BLOOD I HAVE EVER TASTED! GIVE ME MORE!" He went berserk and was now fighting a berserk vampire.

"_**Guys hurry! He's strong!" "Sorry! We're coming!" "He wants my blood! HE LIKES IT!" "What! Pup hang on!" "I AM NOT PUP!" **_Soon, Seth was sent flying into a tree, and held down by the vampire. Seth struggled but could not get away. "SO SWEET! YOU ARE MINE" Seth howled in anger and fear, and the vampire punched him once more. He threatened Seth to phase back or he would use venom and Seth having no choice had to phase back. '_Most likely to stop me from attacking.' _Seth thought, and he was now naked and vulnerable with wounds and blood all over. Feeling fangs sink into his neck, he screamed as the vampire kept sucking his blood out. Tears fell because of the pain, and Seth was in despair. _'Is this how I die? Before I find someone who can rescue me? Will I be remembered? Will I even be missed? Everyone… I'm sorry.'_ Feeling weaker and weaker, he fell unconscious, thinking it was the last time he would ever see the light.

**(Again, page break. Just saying:P Microsoft keeps telling me I have fragment errors and tells me to ignore it. Dahell?)**

Pain, loneliness, despair, unloved. The feelings which he had tried to suppress overtime came out and hit him twice as much. He wondered if this was what death felt like, and if his pack could feel it as well. He stood alone in the darkness, tears dripping down unwillingly as he cried the tears he had to hold in for so long. It was like an endless downpour of rain, one that was filled with sorrow. He cried for a long time, and was eventually unable to support himself with his legs. He collapsed onto the ground, curling into a ball, trying to stop crying but failing. It felt as though days had gone past which he spent crying. "Perhaps… I am meant to be alone. With no one by me, alone in despair and sorrow. I… I am not worthy of love." He was starting to close his eyes, when he heard his sister's voice.

"_**Seth, I'm sorry. Please wake up. I am sorry for not noticing, for being a failure of a sister. I am sorry for sharing our burdens with you but never helping you with yours or trying to see situations from your point of view. You were never selfish for wanting love, it was us for receiving yours but not giving it back. I am sorry for making you feel the sorrow and despair that you feel and not having a way to vent it out. Seth, do you remember when we were young, we promised to love each other no matter what, for we are brother and sister. I'm sorry for not fulfilling that promise, so wake up soon so that I can make up for it." **_'Leah? It was never her fault, it was all mine. Leah, I'm sorry for not being able to take your burdens away but instead creating more trouble for you. Perhaps you were right in not loving me, I am not to be loved after all. I am meant to stay alone… Forever.' _**"Seth… I am ashamed of myself. You followed me and helped me with my troubles, risked your life even, and yet, I never did repay you back for the love you showed me." **_'Jake…'_** "We were the best of friends, and you admired me. I still do not understand why seeing all the hurt I have caused you. Although I was in love with Bella and now Nessie, I still should have spent time with you. Instead, I ignored you and distanced me from you, I'm sorry. Please Seth, wake up and let us love you." "I always thought you were a cheerful, innocent werewolf that was always happy. I am sorry I was never able to see past that facade. Even though I am able to read your thoughts, I never did bother to look underneath your cheerful thoughts. We're friends, and you admired me as well as Jacob. Back then, I never did think much about it, but now, I respect you. You were able to carry everyone while you were still hurt, and you never ask for anything in return. You thought you were weak, but I think otherwise. To be strong is to laugh when you want to cry, comfort others when you yourself want to scream, and to pick yourself up when you want to stay on the ground. You have done that so many times, and I believe that you are the strongest of us all. Wake up soon, everyone is waiting for you." **__'Edward… At least they can now stand being in the same room.' _

"_**Seth darling, please wake up. Your mother is sorry she never showed you her love, and she wants to make up for it. You always helped us, now wake up so we can help you. We will all help to pull you out of the darkness together, and even if our limbs should break off, we will not give up. You are cherished among every one of us, don't leave us. Seth, wake up honey, PLEASE!" **_'Mom…' the light Seth had seen when Leah spoke was growing larger and larger, and when his mother spoke, the light suddenly stopped growing before it engulfed his entire fingers, and lethargy as well as pain hit him hard. He felt someone crying beside him, and saw that it was his mother. He lifted a hand up, and pet his mother's head to comfort her. "Mom… don't cry please." "SETH!" His mother looked up in shock and her shout brought the rest into the room and they all gathered by him and broke down crying. "SETH, WE'RE SORRY!" "You guys… if you're really sorry, bring me a glass of water, I feel like I just swallowed a bucket of sand, blegh." A few giggled, while Collin ran off to get him water the rest stayed to talk to him.

"We're sorry for not noticing how you felt, and for not reaching you earlier when the vampire attacked. Please forgive us." "What's there not to forgive? After all, you guys already helped a lot. Speaking those words while I was unconscious, were you guys trying to make me cry while I was asleep?" "You did for quite a while. Edward and Jasper couldn't stay in the room, your pain and dark thoughts affected them too much." "I'm sorry…" "We're the ones that should apologise. We should have noticed sooner, you helped us after all. So we shall help you. From now on, if anything bad happens, you can come to us alright? Let us love you Seth, until you forget how it feels like to be unloved."

Seth couldn't help it, he started crying, but these weren't tears of sadness. Everyone was shocked at first but when he smiled at them, they understood. Those weren't tears of sorrow, the tears that he had cried out when he was unconscious, it was tears of joy, the reassurance that he would never feel unloved again. Seth had found the people he had been looking for, and those people had started to pull him out of his dark hole.

Many, many a times we feel like we are weak and meant to be unloved, and we lose hope. People around us are so oblivious that sometimes they don't see it until it is too late. We may be weak, but staying intact while being weak makes us strong. Seth had endured it, he had stayed intact, and he had found the people that loved him. He no longer holds his burden alone, and he doesn't have to. He may have been weak, but he was strong when he was weak. That's what makes him strong, and that's why he was cherished by so many others. Seth Clearwater was now strong and loved.

**WOOOOOOOOTS IT ENDED! Okay to tell the truth I'm sorry if the story is sucky, because I had no draft and I was just writing(typing) as I went along. So I'm sorry if you thought this was crappy :P ANYWAY, when I have the time, I will edit this story or maybe rewrite this story into another plot, I don't know. Soo another reason why I chose to type this is because I feel that people around me all feel like Seth. So I just want to encourage everyone, I am half asleep although it's only 6pm, I don't even know why. Maybe because of the exams XD Okay now to end everything off… BYE w 'ReturnMeMyInnocence'**


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